Etiquette for the Baby Shower
by Becca White

The Timeline for Your Baby Shower

Two Hours is the usual length of a baby shower (When Given in a Home)
Greet Your Guests As They Walk In
Welcome Everyone Once the Party is All Gathered
Recognize the Mommy (and/or Daddy) to-be and let them say some words to the party (warn her ahead of time so she isn‘t caught chewing or without anything to say!!)
Make introductions or allow the guests to each say how they know the new parents
Have beverages and snacks available when your guests arrive and throughout the shower. Buffet-style set up in a kitchen or dining room is a great way to go!
Play 2 or 3 games/activities and allow your guests to get to know each other and get into the Celebrate Baby Mood!!
Serve your dessert or have the sit down meal (if this is a shower with a meal served)
Have everyone gather to watch the parents-to-be open their gifts
Allow your guests to look over the gifts and chat for a while after all the gifts have been opened.
(Typically your guests will begin to make their departures shortly after the gifts have been opened)
Have your favors by the door to hand out to the guests as they depart
After the guests have left, help the mommy and daddy-to-be load up their goodies before their departure!

Baby Shower After The Baby Is Born

A lot of times it is better to hold a shower AFTER the baby has been born. However there are some guidelines in regards to these types of celebrations.

Do NOT send a registry information card with these invites. Do send a photo of the new baby with the vital statistics (like an announcement). Most guests will bring a gift for the baby but it is not required and it may be viewed as impolite to send the registry info.
Wait until the pediatrician has given the okay for baby to be around this many people. A lot of pediatricians feel it is better for baby to only be exposed to limited people during the first few weeks.
Check with the mommy and daddy to see when would be a good time for them. It takes a while for the new family to adjust to a new baby and they might need a month or so to be in a good routine before being up for a MEET THE BABY celebration!!
Have plenty of hand-sanitizer available so that the guests can "wash" their hands before holding the baby at the party!!
Take plenty of photos of the guests with the new baby. Send these along with the "thank you" notes so that the guests will have a treasured photo of this special new baby and them!!

Baby Showers for Second or Third Babies

Traditionally baby showers are only given for the first baby and the second baby (if the sex is different than the first). However, it is becoming more and more common for subsequent baby showers to be thrown. Here are some tips for staying within the proper etiquette boundaries.

Do NOT send a registry information card with subsequent baby shower invitations. Instead, allow your guests the opportunity to request this information. (And many will ask the hostess what you need when calling to RSVP)
Do NOT throw your own subsequent baby shower....wait for someone to volunteer to do this.
Keep the celebration casual and fun. Focus on celebrating this particular child.
Do involve the older children. Have shirts made up for them announcing their new role (I'm the Big Sister, I'm the Big Brother, etc.). Let them be involved so they do not feel left out of the festivities.

Use your judgment for throwing these celebrations. The region and community you live in will dictate whether this is a baby shower that is "proper". Celebrating Baby is a wonderful time and if you live in a community that is very traditional in regards to these celebrations you may want to wait and have a MEET THE BABY luncheon or gathering a few weeks after baby comes home from the hospital, instead!!

The Surprise Baby Shower!!

If you are thinking of throwing a surprise baby shower, .make sure the mommy and daddy-to-be are the types of people who would enjoy such a surprise!! There are definitely a lot of people in the world who may not enjoy such a surprise, especially later on in the pregnancy when they don't always feel 100%.
However, if you are fortunate enough to have just such an expectant mother in your family or circle of friends, this could be a lot of fun!

Make sure to involve as many people as you can in the planning and make sure to let all the guests know that this is, indeed, a surprise. However, be prepared in case the cat is let out of the bag (because it does happen!!)

All women or co-ed??

These days it is becoming more and more common for the men to be invited to the shower, too!! Judge your guest list and see if a co-ed shower fits the bill. If you have doubts, you can always arrange for a separate man-shower to occur at the same time (at the same location!). The man-shower can be something as simple as a poker tournament where the guys "buy-in" with a pack of diapers and then play cards to win great gift certificates from Best Buy or Home Depot.
Keep it fun, but understand that not all men are going to be as bowled over by little onesies, booties and pajamas as their wives and girlfriends!! So definitely keep the shower casual and male-friendly if you are going with the co-ed guest list!!

Who Should Plan the Baby Shower?

Traditionally, a friend of the soon-to-be parents throw the baby shower. However it is becoming more common for family members to throw them. Once again, use your regional customs to gauge whether or not a family-hosted baby shower will be well received! It is considered in bad taste to throw your own baby shower and the parents-to-be are strongly discouraged to organize their own party. If no one steps forward to throw your baby shower, you may want to drop hints or (if all else fails) plan a MEET THE BABY celebration after baby has arrived!!

Thank-You Notes

It is very important that the new parents send out thank you notes within a week of the baby shower. They should be written by hand and addressed by hand (not by the guests) to make them feel personal and appreciative. Also, you should never let a guest know that an item has been returned or exchanged. Thank them for the gift and for coming to celebrate baby. A great gift the hostess can give the new parents is pre-stamped Thank You cards for the soon to be parents to use!! However do not pre-address those envelopes for them.

Becca White is the owner/operator of Diaper Cakes by Becca. She specializes in custom diaper cakes designed to match your baby shower or the baby's nursery decor. You can learn more about her custom creations by visiting: www.diapercakesbybecca.com